The Rock & Roll Queen of Bedlam

The Rock & Roll Queen of Bedlam. A Wise-Cracking Tale of Secrets, Peril, and Murder! Marilee Brothers. 2009. Medallion Press. 300 pages. 

Panty hose are a tool of the devil. On a tall woman, the crotch hangs at knee level, so she's forced to crouch and shuffle like Quasimodo. If a woman is vertically challenged, the things slither downward, pooling around her ankles like a reptilian second skin. My trouble began with panty hose.

I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. I found it an easy read, a light read. I liked *some* of the humor, especially the first paragraph. But. It wasn't all to my liking--my taste. I will mention, however, that the jacket description is flawed at best. It emphasizes all the wrong aspects of the novel.

This novel stars a teacher, Allegra Thome, who enjoys singing karaoke. It is because of her stumble into trouble that she loses her boyfriend, Michael, and meets her new love interest, Sloane. That relationship intensifies when one of Allegra's students goes missing. Sara Stepaneck is close friends with her nephew, Nick, in addition to being one of her own students. Most everyone is convinced it's just another runaway, but there are just enough clues to indicate otherwise. Trouble is that people close to Sara are turning up dead--her dad, her social worker. Will Allegra be next? Will her private investigation into this young girl's disappearance prove deadly?

© 2011 Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews

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Posted in 2009 , adult fiction , adult mystery , adult* romance , library book , Medallion Press

Ten Things I Love About You

Ten Things I Love About You. Julia Quinn. 2010. HarperCollins. 384 pages.

"The key to a successful marriage," Lord Vickers pontificated, "is to stay out of the way of one's wife." Such a statement would normally have little bearing on the life and fortunes of Miss Annabel Winslow, but there were ten things that made Lord Vickers's pronouncement hit painfully close to the heart. One: Lord Vickers was her maternal grandfather, which pertained to Two: the wife in question was her grandmother, who Three: had recently decided to pluck Annabel from her quiet, happy life in Gloucestershire and, in her words, "clean her up and get her married." Of equal importance was Four: Lord Vickers was speaking to Lord Newbury, who, Five: had once been married himself, apparently successfully, but Six: his wife had died and now he was a widower, and Seven: his son had died the year prior, without a son of his own. Which meant that Seven: Lord Newbury was looking for a new wife and Eight: he rather thought an alliance with Vickers was just the thing, and Nine: he had his eye on Annabel because Ten: she had big hips. Oh, blast. Had that been two sevens?
Annabel sighed, since that was the closest she was permitted to slumping in her seat. It didn't really signify that there were eleven items instead of ten. Her hips were her hips, and Lord Newbury was presently determining if his next heir ought to spend nine months cradled between them.

Ten Things I Love About You is the sequel to What Happens In London. It stars Sebastian Grey, the handsome cousin of Sir Harry Valentine. He is spending a lot of time (especially meal times) with Harry and Olivia. What he does outside of their company may shock society--at first--and it's not seducing married women. Every one knows he does that. (Hint: his real secret is revealed in the prologue. So it isn't a secret for long. And it's a rather delightful secret, in my opinion. But I hesitate to mention it because even though it is revealed early on in this book. It might effect how others read What Happens in London.)

The heroine, Miss Annabel Winslow, meets our hero when she is running away from Lord Newbury. The good news? Newbury's lusty advances were thwarted in time. It doesn't make Annabel feel any cleaner. She's still disgusted by the thought of his hands on her body--anywhere on her body. But at least she escaped...this time. She doesn't know Sebastian's name. He doesn't know hers. But for whatever reason, they're able to talk to one another freely. In seclusion. Both know it's improper--she's obviously an innocent. Not his usual "type" at all. But there's just something drawing them together...

When she does learn his name, well, that's when she learns how dangerous it could be. For Lord Newbury is Sebastian's uncle; he's next in line to inherit if Newbury doesn't have another son. She KNOWS that these two are enemies. And she knows that many, many people would disapprove of even the smallest acquaintanceship between the two. He has a horrible reputation. No one has to tell her that much.  (She did come across him politely "waiting" to return to the party after a secret meeting with a woman). So why can't she forget him?

I enjoyed Ten Things I Love About You. I loved Sebastian (though I can't tell you why) and I really liked Annabel. I also liked Olivia and Lady Louisa. While it is different (in quite a few ways) from What Happens In London, I thought it worked. It reminded me more of The Duke and I and When He Was Wicked.   

© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews

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Posted in 2010 , adult fiction , adult* romance , HarperCollins , Historical Fiction , library book

What Happens in London

What Happens in London. Julia Quinn. 2009. HarperCollins. 384 pages.

By the age of twelve, Harry Valentine possessed two bits of knowledge that made him rather unlike other boys of his class in England of the early nineteenth century. The first was his complete and absolute fluency in the languages of Russian and French. There was little mystery surrounding this talent; his grandmother, the extremely aristocratic and opinionated Olga Petrova Oblenskiy Dell, had come to reside with the Valentine family four months after Harry's birth.

I love Julia Quinn's Regency romances. I do. There's just something about her writing (most of the time) that I just love. I love how she develops her characters. How well she captures individuality and personality. (Some of her couples I "love" more than others.) They are romances, and there are only so many ways for  it to go; but while reading a Quinn novel, it feels special, it feels different, like she's capturing a unique story between two people falling in love. It's very satisfying to discover each couple's story. I think two things contribute to this:  the narrative style, how most of her romances are presented from both the male and female perspective, and her dialogue. Quinn is able to capture her characters best when they're interacting with one another, when they're talking. Humor helps, of course.

What Happens in London is a great example of her humor. I loved how Olivia Bevelstoke and Sir Harry Valentine fall in love. I love how it is not love at first sight. I love how puzzled they are about one another. He's her new neighbor, and she ends up spying on him through her window. (Until she knows that he knows that she's spying at any rate!) I love how Harry teases Olivia. How he knows he's being "spied" on and acts accordingly. I love how these two get to know one another by reading a book together,  a very "bad" gothic romance by Sarah Gorely called Miss Butterworth and the Mad Baron. I love all the quotes from that book. (Very, funny stuff!) The book ends up being very important to them all...

I also loved some of the secondary characters, especially Sebastian Grey and Olivia's twin brother, Winston.

The "smuttiness" of this one may not be for everyone. (Though I think it's relatively tame compared to some romance authors, and some classics even.) I thought the book as a whole was very well done. I loved the characters. I loved the humor. It is one of my favorite (adult) romances of the year.

© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews

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Posted in 2009 , adult fiction , adult* romance , HarperCollins , Historical Fiction , library book

A Darcy Christmas

A Darcy Christmas: A Holiday Tribute to Jane Austen. By Amanda Grange, Carolyn Eberhart, and Sharon Lathan. Sourcebooks. 304 pages.

From Mr. Darcy's Christmas Carol by Carolyn Eberhart: Old Mr. Darcy was dead to begin with. There is no doubt whatsoever about that. The clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner had all signed the register of his burial. His son signed it. And Fitzwilliam Darcy's name was as good as his father's before him. Old Mr. Darcy was as dead as a doornail.

From Christmas Present by Amanda Grange: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a married man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of an heir, and Mr. Darcy of Pemberley was just such a man. Moreover, he was soon to have that want satisfied, for his wife, Elizabeth, was expecting their first child.

From A Darcy Christmas by Sharon Lathan: He set the painting onto the sofa, assuring it was well supported before stepping away. He gazed at the canvas, a smile spreading as he looked upon his family. His family. The family created by him and his wife, just as he had dreamt for so many lonely years. They stood on the portico of Pemberley flanked by their precious children on the steps. All of them were smiling at the artist. A sentimental man by nature, he silently examined the newest portrait of his family and lost himself in happy memories.

For the most part, I liked this one. I did. I really enjoyed two of these novellas! And while I wasn't impressed with "A Darcy Christmas" I would still recommend this collection.

"Mr. Darcy's Christmas Carol" was surprisingly fun. I had my doubts--as you might have your doubts about weaving these two stories together--but I thought it worked. It does a slight variation on the original. What if Jane and Charles Bingley got their happily ever after--after Lydia was "rescued" by Mr. Darcy's intervention--but Mr. Darcy's pride was still in the way of his declaring his love (the second time). This is what that first Christmas might have been like. If he'd been visited by the spirits of Christmas past, present, future.

"Christmas Present" was a great novella by Amanda Grange. I've enjoyed many of her Austen adaptations in the past. This one did not disappoint. She got the characters just right. It felt authentic like what a Darcy Christmas might have *really* been like. Elizabeth and Darcy are expecting their first child, and Charles and Jane just had their first child. So the families are coming together--the extended families--to celebrate. I really enjoyed this one!

"A Darcy Christmas" is a collection of holiday short stories following the Darcy family through twenty or so years of marriage. (I believe we see their twenty-third Christmas as a couple? Although I might have lost track of the last few stories.) Since we only catch glimpses of the family--on Christmas Eve/Christmas--it's hard to precisely follow these stories. We do know that (almost) every Christmas sees Elizabeth either with a new baby or pregnant. (Perhaps these stories do connect to Lathan's previous novels about Elizabeth and Darcy. If that is the case, then the stories might make more sense when it comes to keeping up with their family, friends, etc. Especially in the case of her children's love interests.)

© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews

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Posted in 2010 , adult fiction , adult* romance , Jane Austen , library book , novellas , romance , Source Books

Bespelling Jane Austen

Bespelling Jane Austen. By Mary Balogh, Susan Krinard, Colleen Gleason, Janet Mullany. 2010. Harlequin. 377 pages.

From Almost Persuaded by Mary Balogh: Miss Jane Everett, middle daughter of Sir Horace Everett of Goodrich Hall in Hampshire, did not call as often as she ought at the vicarage in the village nearby. She called everywhere else--on tenants and laborers and others, on those who sick or elderly or in need of any sort. She took her duties very seriously.

From Northanger Castle by Colleen Gleason: Miss Caroline Merrill smoothed her ruffled-hem skirt as she settled into the chair against the wall. She quickly tucked her feet under the seat to keep them from being stepped upon or tripped over, and confirmed that the heavy, bulky reticule still dangled from her wrist. One never knew when one might need one of the accoutrements from within.

From Blood and Prejudice by Susan Krinard: It is a truth universally acknowledged that every decent straight guy who isn't dead broke, is in want of a good woman. As my dear Grandpa Bennet used to say...Bull.

From Little To Hex Her by Janet Mullany: "She turned me into a frog." I bit back the comment that he seemed to have recovered. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, Elton. I know it's no excuse, but it is almost full moon, and Harriet tends to be..." I paused and added a description of my assistant that seemed lame as soon as it was out of my mouth. "Difficult."

Bespelled By Austen is a collection of paranormal novellas "inspired by" four Jane Austen novels. Northanger Castle and Almost Persuaded are historical retellings of Persuasion and Northanger Abbey. (Names and situations have been altered.) Blood and Prejudice and Little To Hex her are modern day adaptations of Pride and Prejudice and Emma. Names have not changed though many aspects of the novel have been updated to reflect a contemporary setting. Each novella is by a different romance novelist. As you can imagine with reading any collection of novellas I have favorites and not so favorites. (My favorites may not be your favorites.)

My thoughts on "Almost Persuaded": I was not almost persuaded to believe in reincarnation. Unfortunately, that seemed to take precedence over the romantic aspects of this retelling of Persuasion. Much of the dialogue between our hero, Captain Mitford, and heroine, Jane Everett, seeming to be about past lives, soul mates, and such. You might not think it would be so intrusive to the text, but I found it to be so. When they weren't talking about the many times they got their love wrong in their past lives, they were doing things that seemed out of place with the historical time period. (Like shedding some clothes to go swimming together, and then getting intimate.) I did NOT like this one at all. Persuasion is my favorite Austen, and to see it "adapted" in this way irritated me.

My thoughts on "Northanger Castle": To be honest, I don't have many thoughts on this one. Unfortunately, I had a headache while reading this one, and I didn't feel a connection with this one. But. I think it was probably my fault. I think I would have been struggling to "enjoy" whatever I was reading at that time.

My thoughts on "Blood and Prejudice": This one was interesting. I thought I wouldn't like the modern-day adaptations. But I found both Blood and Prejudice and Little To Hex Her the best in the collection. Elizabeth, our heroine, finds out a secret about Mr. Darcy--and Mr. Wickham--they're vampires! But she's still doesn't have all her facts straight. Can Elizabeth discover the truth in time to find love for herself and her older sister, Jane? I liked this one.

My thoughts on "Little to Hex Her": This one was my favorite! Dare I say it? This one rivals Clueless for me on my favorite telling of Emma. (Emma is NOT my favorite Austen. I struggled through that one.) Emma, our heroine, is a matchmaker. That's her job. She runs a PARANORMAL dating service. Elton? Well, he's an Elf. Harriet? She's a werewolf. Frank Churchill? A vampire. Jane Fairfax? Well, she's a moody witch. Knightley? Well, he's a wizard. And her ex-boyfriend.  This adaptation was playful and flirty and fun. It worked really well--from the smallest details--"Missy" who can't stop talking about the emails she receives from Jane Fairfax--to the big declaration of love. I just loved this one. It would make a great movie!


© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews

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Posted in 2010 , adult fiction , adult* romance , Harlequin , Jane Austen , library book , novellas , romance